The Difference between romance novels and real life

Real life version

A knock at door. A glance through the window. Oh, lord a big bad warrior. Throws bolt. "what do you want?"

"Directions to the nearest township and while I'm here I'm going to steal your gun and horse and have my wicked way with you."

"Oh. Well, my father and my four karate world champion brothers are in the barn so you'd better get or they'll beat the crap out of you."

"Ahh, puts a whole new spin on things. Be seeing ya!"

The End

Romance version

Knock at door. Peers through window. Oh wow, thank you god, a handsome wounded tattooed warrior type and he's helpless and knocking on my door. Falls over opening door and dragging him in.

"Can I offer you something to eat, tend your wounds, bath you, me?"

"Why, how kind." Falls in a faint at her feet.

"Oh dear, now I have to undress you myself." Don't look at his naughty bits, don't look... Oh no, I looked...heart flutters dangerously.

Ten minutes later...

"We should have sex."

"Oh no sir, I couldn't possibly."

"Why not?"

"Well...umm....oh go on then."

"Oh, by the way, will you marry me?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

The End.

The moral, if we didn't have version two, we wouldn't have romance novels. And, I might add, the world would be a poorer place.